Bismillah. We begin everything with the name of Allah. We say Bismillah to initiate an act to acknowledge the intention and the ethics we carry with all that follows Bismillah.
☺️ Hello!
Table of Contents:
👋🏽 Hello from Sheridan, Wyoming!
⚙️ Project Updates
🖼️ Exhibitions
☺️ Joyful Things
1. 👋🏽 Hello from Sheridan, Wyoming
Y’all, I know I have been MIA, so I wanted to drop a baby newsletter of updates before some post-40th birthday reflections next week.
Also, if you choose to monetarily support this newsletter, do it for the quality, not the consistency :-) I cannot promise consistency as I am a one-woman show (plus my amazing studio manager, who makes sure that emails don’t get lost!) I can always promise quality.
KJR Studios: Kameelah Janan Rasheed is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
I am here in Sheridan, Wyoming, on residency at UCROSS with support from the Yale School of Art. It has only been two days, but I am enjoying myself. I have a beautiful bedroom. I bike to my studio (more on this Monday). Our chef drops off wonderful lunches to our studios and prepares an amazing dinner every weekday. I am beyond grateful. I usually find residencies difficult because by the time I settle into my space, it is time to pack up and leave. However, this feels different. Just a full day in, and I've already accomplished a lot. It's simply because all my needs are taken care of, allowing me to focus on making. It is a privilege — such a privilege. One that should be afforded to all of us.
June: Brooklyn to Paris to Venice
I spent the entire summer away from my apartment in Brooklyn. First, it was Paris, FR, for a site visit for an upcoming group exhibition at Palais de Tokyo. Then it was Venice, IT, where I presented about death bots and machine learning at the Chat Token Vector Questioning Models of Language and Neo-Structuralism in AIconference organized by Matteo Pasquinelli. You can see the presentation here. The convening was hosted by the ERC project AIMODELS (full title: ‘The Culture of Algorithmic Models: Advancing the Historical Epistemology of Artificial Intelligence’) at the Department of Philosophy and Cultural Heritage of Ca’ Foscari University in Venice — they investigate the combined socio-technical history of contemporary AI models and models of intelligence. This was my first time presenting publicly on death and machine learning, and to be honest, I was deeply intimidated as the only non-specialist/non-PhD, but it went really well, and I look forward to continuing this research into post-mortem data and information rights, zombies, and knowledge management. I do not want to go into academia, but I do not mind lurking around the fringes.
After braving a completely water-based city for a few days, I headed to Berlin to catch up on gallery business. I stayed at a hotel I’d never stayed at before and got a few hours of non-work time in. Thank you, Luca and the whole team over at NOME Gallery, for hosting me and supporting my practice over the past seven years — and thank you for finding all the best Vietnamese and Japanese spots in Berlin!
July: Brooklyn to East Palo Alto
I spent a few days at home and surprised my family in the Bay Area. Still working, I managed to have amazing Mongolian BBQ with my mom and baby brother, looked at a bunch of old photos with my dad, and cackled a lot with my other brothers. I got to visit the wetlands near my parents’ house and watch the birds.
July: Brooklyn to Montpellier to Arles to Paris
Then back to Brooklyn for a few days to clean and pretend that I live there. I then headed to Montpellier, FR, to co-teach Languaging the Contemporary with dear dear Chang Yuchen. This is the fourth year in a row that she and I have co-taught a writing and publishing intensive to Bennington College (formally affiliated with the University of the Arts) MFA dance students at the Institut Chorégraphique International (International Choreographic Institute) summer conference in Montpellier, France.
We can’t believe it’s been so many years — almost half a decade. This summer, I stayed at an apartment further away from the city center and enjoyed some nice walks, cooking for a few days, and eating really delicious local food. Somehow, my allergy to most fruit did not apply in Montpellier, and I had more apricots than I am prepared to confess. I was able to find one day in the work week to sneak to Arle,s where I visited LUMA Arles. It is such a large place! I took a nice train ride back to Montpellier to wrap up the last few classes before a lovely closing dinner at the director’s house. I am grateful to be invited to these teaching opportunities because I learn so much. One day, Yuchen and I will say more about this experience, but co-teaching is a magical and intimate experience that I do not have all the words for. I am deeply indebted to my amazing students who gave me so much language for my own practice and my livingness.
I skipped back over to Paris for more work and decided to have one day of fun. Lots of bookstores, lots of yogurt, lots of apricots, lots of walking!
Sometimes, people think I am traveling for pleasure. Instagram is funny that way. While my artistic and pedagogical practice is pleasurable, I am traveling for work. I am making this distinction because a few people have said things to me that made me curious about how I am perceived. Yes, I am on many planes, but I do it to support myself (I’m my sole safety net, and I am the safety net for many others who wouldn’t do it for me — but that stopped on August 2nd, lol) and my family. I would love to travel for pleasure solely. If you want to fund that, then let me know, lol. Until then, I am racking up Delta miles for work and stealing a few moments to eat nice fruit and sit quietly.
I'm not sure why I feel compelled to make this declaration — perhaps I believe it is my responsibility to avoid cosplaying a particular artist's lifestyle. I do not have a trust fund, I work multiple jobs, often feeling exhausted and alone, and misunderstood. Learning that I am autistic in April, on top of OCD and ADHD, reminded me that while disability impacts us all differently, I have never been able to tap out or hope someone else can carry the load for me. It is just me. I do not get breaks because part of disability seems like proving you are not disabled.
KJR Studios: Kameelah Janan Rasheed is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
There is a Kaytranada song I love, Freefall. I often dream about the day when I can free-fall, let someone else carry me, even for a day, and actually relax. I appreciate the opportunities Allah has given me in this dunya. However, it can be difficult and lonely, especially when I'm doing it without a community.
Whenever I speak to students, I like to be very honest — I worked a full-time job with benefits for almost 15 years; I live in a rent-stabilized apartment in Brooklyn; I spend most of my money on research books. There are elements of my life that are very difficult, and these are not always apparent. Not because I choose not to show them, but sometimes, there is no time to slow down and say, "This is hard."
I don't ask for much, and perhaps this is an area for improvement. I once saw a meme that said something like always being the listener or comforter means that if you ever get your turn to be listened to or comforted, then you’d not even know what to do. I have been on my own since I was 16/17 and am quite independent, but am reminded that radical independence is a trauma response to never being able to rely on support from others. I am looking forward to learning how to accept help and not be too burned by past attempts to reach out for support that went unanswered or unacknowledged.
The past few months, I have deeply reflected on how solid a family I have. My parents and four brothers are the only family I have, and they are the best humans I could have ever been blessed with. Loving, but firm. Serious at times, but always down to clown. I could not have been luckier to be born into this little weird family. We do not all understand each other, but there is curiosity. And I believe love is about curiosity, not understanding. You can read more about this in an old newsletter:
I like this notion of love that does not rest on mutual recognition [see: Elvia Wilk] as much as a desire to actually unknow and unrecognize — that possibly the height of love is not freezing people into a clear image but accepting that that person swells beyond the compositional field you have created for them.
On July 31, I had a startling recognition: this person didn't understand me, which was unfortunate, and they also showed no curiosity about me. I'm unsure what to do with that information, but it's been important for me to become more aware of what love feels like for me.
August: Brooklyn to Sheridan
I got back to Brooklyn in time to celebrate my 40th birthday on August 1st. I can’t believe I am 40 years old. I worked and attended a lovely dance typography workshop. Then I got my favorite Thai food and passed out, lol. Allah has given me so many years, and inshaAllah I have many more. 40 does feel different for no other reason than an increased awareness of my mortality. It makes sense that the year I turn 40 becomes the year I re-engage with my death doula training. We are in week 3, and yes, I am behind, but I am enjoying the weekly gatherings and everyone’s deep vulnerability.
By August 3rd, I was on my way to Wyoming. I am sitting in the sun room of the main house writing to you now. I am wrapping up some writing projects while here — two essays debut soon. And I am also editing and shooting for these film projects. While I am here, I am also going to find time to sit still, inshaAllah, and take one hike. Just kidding, no hiking, lol. I struggle to manage the heat here (but everywhere) — the big skies mean direct sunlight, and the heat makes me very nauseous.
I will get a few days before returning to teach at the Yale School of Art - Sculpture. I am doing the thesis workshop again and have designed a new course on the life and death of sculptural work using organic materials. The syllabus is shaping up nicely!
As I noted before, as we close our collaborations in May, we look forward to working with new teams in late 2025/early 2026. We like to take reflective breaks to ensure we can be the best for our collaborators, so no new projects can begin before September. Please email me at hello@orangetangent.study! We have a new team member specializing in boutique systems design. We're excited about fun learning opportunities, so please share what you are working on!
On September 1, I will be visiting the faculty at the Saas-Fee Summer Institute of Art. I won't be able to return to Paris, but will be remotely delivering a lecture on exotic matter, ecotones, and digestion in relation to Clarice Lispector’s Aqua Viva, Beverly Buchanan’s Marsh Ruins, and Bhanu Kapil’s Schizophrene.
In September, I will be teaching an ugly coding workshop in Los Angeles. More on that soon! I will be in town on September 21, so send me food recs or events to check out.
2. ⚙️ Project Updates
The Little Octopus School
The Little Octopus School is a roaming learning environment for radical play and improvisation.
We were hoping to be up and ready in mid-April, but Allah is truly the best of planners. We are back in September with new classes and a new website! A sneak peek of our logo, designed by the lovely Chang Yuchen.
3. 🖼️ Exhibitions
Solo Exhibitions
23 Aug 2025 to 26 Apr 2026 Henry Art Gallery (Seattle, WA) we leak, we exceed | More Information
17 Oct 2025 to 22 Feb 2026 Glynn Vivian Art Gallery (Swansea, UK) Artes Mundi 11 | More Information
Group Exhibitions
6 June 2025 to 28 Sept 2025 Vitra Design Museum (Rhein, DE) The Shakers: A World in the Making | More Information
17 July 2025 - 30 August 2025 Island 83 Gallery (New York, NY) centrifugal More Information
18 Sept 2025 to 13 Dec 2025 Print Center New York (New York, NY) Data Consciousness: Reimagining Du Bois’ Data Portraits in the 21st Century | More Information
17 Oct 2025 to 22 Feb 2026 National Museum in Cardiff (Cardiff, UK) Artes Mundi 11 | More Information
22 Oct 2025 to 15 Feb 2026 Palais de Tokyo (Paris, FR) ECHO DELAY REVERB: American Art and Francophone Thought | More Information
24 - 26 Oct 2025 Counterpublic (St. Louis, Missouri) Circus of Life | More Information
4. ☺️ Joyful Things
I have been inspired by my lovely MFA Dance students to finally take a dance class. I start house dance in September. Wish me luck!
My uncle found a quilt and a knitted blanket from my great-grandmother from Arkansas! I am so excited and grateful. I never had a chance to meet her, but heard stories and saw photos. Also, in the last LA visit to clean my late nan’s house, we found the VHS of my great-grandmother’s 100th birthday party. I cannot wait to get it digitized.
Glitch, a favorite platform for creating and hosting web apps, shut down, and I decided not to transfer all of my projects. The Pocket bookmarking app shut down, and I decided not to save any of my links. I have been inspired by this video and recent research in personal knowledge management, “second brains,” and a series of attempts to capture knowledge. I never thought about the emotional relief of … deleting.
My favorite sightings during my travels. Graffiti and t-shirts do not end anything, but it was heartening to see support across so many places this summer:
Brooklyn — Venice, IT — Venice, IT — Venice, IT — Berlin, DE — Arles, FR
I got bumped to first class on my flight back to East Palo Alto and had a chance to watch Mickey 17. I have so much to say about this film.
On my birthday, I was in a shared Uber, and it was everyone’s birthday — the driver and the woman next to me!
My mama earned four A.S. degrees, magnum cum laude, at the age of 71. Very proud of this lady!
I started photographing again with my Ricoh. It feels really, really nice. I started as a photographer — see below. It is nice to come home.
Also, LOL. I started this newsletter at 11 am MDT, saying it would be a shortie, and here we are at almost 3,000 words, hours later.
Thank you for reading. All the best, always,
Kameelah 👽
Finally, while I do not organize my finances around paid newsletter subscriptions, wouldn’t it be cool if this little newsletter could allow me to take quarterly self-imposed writing retreats? Consider getting a one-year membership at USD 70 :)
How to cite this newsletter: Rasheed, K. (Year, Month Day). Newsletter Title. I Will (?) Figure This All Out Later. URL
You continue to be a great wonder. You live so much life and such an expansive and inspiring one. Congratulations to Mom! She too is an inspiration. The Uber with multiple birthdays, the beautiful photographs from your Ricoh, the vulnerability of it all, I am so grateful for your life and for all you do. And for your rare, occasional, sporadic newsletter. Lol Always quality!
![[27 May 2024]: "Using the Word as Bait" — blind bisexual goose; green porno; slippery texts; sloshy belly of texts; eggs; love as curiosity + quantum mechanics; heresy + agitation; erotic consumption](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gjuB!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1761b022-a74d-459a-8cd5-8e8af5bb1c47_2048x1524.png)
You continue to be a great wonder. You live so much life and such an expansive and inspiring one. Congratulations to Mom! She too is an inspiration. The Uber with multiple birthdays, the beautiful photographs from your Ricoh, the vulnerability of it all, I am so grateful for your life and for all you do. And for your rare, occasional, sporadic newsletter. Lol Always quality!